10 tips to get over your breakup

Have you heard the phrase “to get under someone else”? Breaking up is a super common experience, but why is it so hard to get over it? Movies, books, shows, and podcasts can surely guide you, but what if that's not enough?

Relationships end, not only the sexual and romantic ones, but also friendships or platonic relationships, or with family members. And when this happens, you might feel pain and sadness. Fortunately, there are some tips that can help you overcome these feelings and get over a breakup. Healing might be a lifestyle for the moment, so take your time and make the best out of it. Here's how!

1. Self-care is self-love.

Self-care means prioritizing your needs and wants. It's not selfish or narcissistic to prioritize what you want and need over the desires of others. Generally, if you're asking yourself this, you should know that there is a difference between prioritizing your needs and completely ignoring someone else’s. For instance, when a friend asks you to watch a game on TV, but you only want to go to sleep, it's ok to turn the invitation off. It's called setting a boundary to take care of your needs.

1. Spending time with other people you value.

If you're just breaking up with someone, you know the negative feelings that can overwhelm you. That's why it is essential to spend as much time as possible with others that can give you support: friends, family, and a therapist. The people in your life can usually recall parts of a problem that are more difficult to see when you're preoccupied with disagreeable emotions. If no one is around, reach out to them, and tell them that you could really use their company.

1. Journal about your feelings

Another thing that can really help with healing is writing down your emotions, especially if you tried journaling before, but didn't make it a habit. Now might be the right time to restart that habit. Don't follow some one-fits-all formula of journaling that you saw on Instagram, but instead try and make your own way of writing. This is your story and it is unique.

1. Start therapy

Sometimes, relying on your family or friends for needed support is vital. However, you should know that a trained mental health professional can help you as well, especially if you have depression or anxiety, and hopelessness. It is recommended to see a therapist who can guide you and help you understand your feelings, cope, grow and move forward. 

1. Get a new hobby

A hobby will not distract you from reality or your feelings, but will allow you to practice mindfulness and be in the present moment. Plus, you get to learn a new skill, and what's not to love about that? Take on dance lessons, join a book club, and start whatever hobby calls out to you. This will definitely help you increase your compassion toward yourself and the self-care.

1. Don't keep the old photos

If you had a relationship that was abusive or toxic, you might decide to get rid of pictures. But even if the relationship was healthy, looking at photos of your ex-partner can make the healing process harder. Regardless of how healthy the relationship was, having photos that remind you of that time while you want to get over your ex is not a good way to heal, on the contrary, it is quite painful.

1. Remember the good times

If you've been in a healthy good relationship, you can let yourself feel all your feelings, including thinking about the good times, not only the bad ones. The key to healing is to acknowledge what was real, however, the things were, good or bad. And know that it's completely safe and ok to remember now and then the good times.

1. Meet new people

The expression “to get over someone, you have to get under someone else” is often said by a lot of people, but this isn't the most beneficial idea ever. However, there is some truth in it. Whether you decide to date or just meet new people, it's your decision.

1. Acknowledge your feelings

It might be hard to feel all your feelings now when you probably are heartbroken, but there are techniques for recognizing your feelings like putting them in containers. How? You create a container for each feeling, and fee that feeling for a time. By doing this, emotions will not become overwhelming.

1. Remember that you are a human being

And you have complex emotions. So give yourself time, feel the feelings, and make your steps. It's a work in process. One day, you will wake up and discover you haven't thought about your ex when you went to bed, and you didn't miss them at all!

As time passes, the reasons why you break up with someone or a relationship ends might become clearer or foggier. But if you keep track of yourself, write down your feelings and stay in the present, healing will come naturally.