Sex Toys belong to a Healthy Sex Life

The general lack of sexual education and tendency toward moralism can make your relationship with sex and with talks about it a little vulnerable and reluctant.

It might be frequently easier to ask a one-night stand to choke you than it is to admit your interest in using nipple clamps in your long-term relationship. Because there’s generally a cathartic end when you practice more kinky stuff, but the lowest diversions from vanilla lovemaking can be uncomfortable to bring up. Actually, numerous women avoid asking their partners to use sex toys because they feel embarrassed about it, or like they come across as too kinky. Men also feel shy and some of them are even afraid that they will be replaced. It might be about shame or simply that you don’t know what to say or when and you're not quite prepared.

The truth is that you're not going to be replaced by a vibrator, no matter how hard it can make your partner orgasm. But adding toys to your sex life only fosters more open, delightful sessions. Just like watching a film you really like for the 5th time can be awesome, but at the same time, it cannot be the only movie you watch. Try to talk openly to your partner and agree on what you should do next. For this, it's good to know your interests, your preferences and your boundaries as well. Here you can find out more about how and when to incorporate kinky stuff into your sex life!

The foremost thing you need to do before you bring up boosting your sex life with tech accessories is to remind yourself that what you are into is normal and not vicious or anything you should be ashamed of.

Away from the truly weird shit, you might end up watching on nights when you have the house to yourself and you slide down a porn rabbit hole, there’s probably little you will want to try with implicit to outright nausea your mate. That doesn’t mean your partner is going to accept it from the start, after all, sex toys can be intimidating for some, and there are some things your companion might be interested in trying. Don't worry, people these days have at least mindfulness of sex toys and they know what they're talking about. And it's actually not uncommon to find a partner that already has their own sex toys!

In fact, there’s a good chance that your mate owns some formerly. A few years ago in a report, more than 50% of women reported having used or possessed a vibrator. And with the pandemic, it's clear that the number has grown and sex toys are easier now to buy than they ever were -- just click and wait for the parcel!

It’s all about the talk

Though wanting to experiment with toys is extremely normal, it’s still necessary to get the timing of your discussion right. Because your partner might not be feeling the same and might even feel hurt or dismiss any idea of sex toys. The best would be to pick a time when you can have a conversation with them, just the two of you and no one else. You should bring this up maybe on a date night while sharing some drinks as you You should both be relaxed and in a good mood.

Whatever you do, don’t forget that adding a toy for the first time during sex can be extremely stressful for your partner who will be put in a high-pressure position to either agree and keep going or stop the act altogether. This can make your partner sense that you are more into sex toys than into enjoying the time spent with them without any devices. So be clear that they don’t need to say yes as a condition for your sex life and that it's ok if they need more time or don't want to use toys at all.

As for the timing…

​​There isn’t any standard or rule. It’s not like if you had sex this many times with a person they will definitely be open to sex devices. Some people might be used and even experts in using lube and kink stuf or sex toys, but it really isn’t a general rule and it all depends from couple to couple. If you’re not sure about the timing, you might want to consider your own particular comfort position, what you imagine your mate’s openness to be, and what you’re trying to bring to the table. And don’t forget to take it slow: don’t jump from missionary to strap-ons. Studies show that the majority of people prefer to spend some time together before bringing up the subject of sex toys in their relationship.

How to communicate

Your journey should be something fun and pleasant to embark with your partner and discover exciting things in your sex life, rather than something you feel pressured to do. Of course, you don’t have to make a presentation to your partner showing them slides and making a speech. It can be just a simple question like ‘would you want to use a vibrator with me?’ as simple as that!

Plus, it can be fun to look for a toy together online. But make sure they agree and don’t surprise them with something they don’t really want to try. Another thing you should consider is not to bring sex toys from previous relatioships into a new one, because no one would like to use that.

Finally, it’s all about better sex

So, whatever you choose - whether you want the company of a sex toy or not, know that this should only enhance your current sex life and not ruin it!